Clumsy

I don't think I have ever been more aware of Paul's struggle expressed in Romans 7. I know what is good, I know what I should not do (or think). But what I do not want to do or think, I do. But thanks be to God who loves me and forgives me through Christ despite my loose halo. I am so grateful that He still continues to hold me and work in me to make me holy as I fall on Jesus. I realize more every day that as much as I may try, as much as I may practice, I simply do not have the capability to change myself. But how humbling...how exciting...how empowering to know He can do more than we can imagine to take our clumsy lives and use them for His glory!

Chris Rice - Clumsy
You think I’d have it down by now
Been practicing for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doing here
Reaching out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what’s a boy supposed to do?

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re saying You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re making me holy
You’re still making me holy, yeah

I’m gonna get it right this time
I’ll be strong and I’ll make You proud
I’ve prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You’re not gonna let that come between us

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re saying You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re making me holy
You’re still making me holy, yeah

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re saying You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re making me holy
You’re still making me holy, yeah

Transformed- Romans 12:2

The more I come to know God, the more I hate who I have been and the sin that so easily entangles me. May my growing intimacy with Him increase my desire to be further transformed and my ability to know His will.

Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

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Masks

1 Samuel 12:1-14 describes Nathan confronting David, the King of Israel, about orchestrating the death of Uriah the Hittite in order to take his wife, Bathsheba. God used to Nathan and his relationship with David as a vessel to bring David to repentance. My reading today looked at this story and asked if we have someone in our lives who can confront us with the truth about our sin. It also suggested a couple reasons we may not have that relationship in our lives- no one suspects our sins (we are talented hypocrites) or no one knows enough (or cares enough) about us or our lives.

Personally, I am saddened to think either I have perfected hypocrisy to the point that no one in my life can see my sins or that I am not willing to let people in enough to either see it or care to confront it. Even when I can not point out my own sins, as we often do not realize our failings ourselves, I know that I fall short all the time. In my words and actions, I can see places where I have mountains of growing left. So honestly it scares me to think that I'm not sure I have a "Nathan" (or Nathana?) who would both see my sin & be willing to bring it to my attention as well.

So my prayer for the week is thus:
Lord search me again. Open my eyes to areas that I may have unconfessed sin, whether directly or through wise counsel. Help me to be able to remove any masks I am holding onto. Make my friendships and my home group open venues for you to work in my life. Lead me to know where to invest my life so that I too may be a vessel for your use.

For Fred!

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My life this week...

Wordless Wednesday

Love = Me??

An exercise in my bible study this past week was on 1 Corinthians 13, focusing on the well-known verses 4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The bible tells that God is love (1 John 4:8), therefore, we could substitute God or Jesus for the word love in these verses. This is a pretty neat word picture. Do it and be encouraged! Then, as we are to become like Christ and to have his attitude, we were to insert our name for the word love. And then to consider which of those phrases made us shudder. Try it.

I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud. I am not rude, I am not self-seeking, I am not easily angered, I keep no record of wrongs. I do not delight in evil, but rejoice with the truth. I always protect, always trust, always hope, always perseveres.

I honestly felt so humbled realizing this is what God would have me to be, and how far I am from it. But this illustration gives me a tangible goal to work toward. And pointed out some specific areas where I am sorely falling short and not bringing honor to God. I will be praying this scripture molds me to his glory!

Here is our King

I am completely overwhelmed by God's grace and love this week. Despite it all (by that I mean car wreaks, flat tires, keys locked in the car, tough leadership meetings), God's protection and love have been so tangible. We had our church's missions night this weekend. After a brief worship time, they had several people lift prayers to God, none of which were in English. The amazing thing was we had the people within our own church to do this. I am always awed by how God is working in our church community. I'm not even sure what a couple languages were, but I recognized Spanish, Tagalog, and Romanian. When the Romanian man prayed, I was blown away by the powerful memories and feelings it provoked. It has been just at a year since my trip there and my heart broke again for the people of Romania who do not yet know the freedom that is in Christ. Yesterday, God brought Psalm 33 to me in a study I'm doing. It reminds me that His plans "stand firm forever." So though I don't know what's next on the horizon or even how to handle today's problems, I will rejoice, wait on the Lord, and trust in His unfailing love. It seems God is always finding new ways to bring me back to him. How appropriate that our youth band did this song in closing that night...

From wherever spring arrives to heal the ground
From wherever searching comes
The look itself a trace of what we’re looking for
So be quiet now and wait

The ocean is growing
The tide is coming in
Here it is

Here is our King
Here is our Love
Here is our God Who’s come to bring us back to Him
He is the One
He is Jesus, Jesus
And what was said to the rose to make it unfold
Was said to me here in my chest
So be quiet now and rest

The ocean is growing
The tide is coming
Here it is

Here is our King
Here is our Love
Here is our God Who’s come to bring us back to Him
He is the One
He is Jesus

And Here is our King
Here is our Love
Here is our God Who’s come to bring us back to Him
He is the One
He is Jesus, Jesus
Majesty Finally